Surrender

I am currently in a season of learning what it looks like to surrender... I can honestly say it's one of the hardest things to do when you are someone who likes your world under control, all the time.  God is teaching me and often he uses unexpected things to do it.

It was Wednesday morning in Haiti and our schedule for that morning was to sleep in.  If you've met me, I LOVE to do this.  Well, that was not God's schedule for me.  There was pounding on my door around 8am and so I jumped out of bed and ran to the door to find two of my teammates of my new friends that lives in Haiti standing at the door frantically telling me, "There was a bad accident.  We're getting on the helicopter right now to go take them to the hospital.  You need to go be with Joy.  We don't know who was hurt, it may have been Kerry (her husband)."

Early that morning, some of our guys had gone to Port-Au-Prince to take a team of 4 guys to the airport.

What was going through my half-asleep, pre-caffeinated mind was this:
- "My dad is on that bus.  I don't know what I'd do if my dad wasn't okay.  Kerry is on that bus.  I don't know what Joy and their 8 kids will do if he's not okay.  If Kerry's not okay, I'm not leaving Haiti. I'm not leaving Joy."  I was calm on the outside but freaking out the inside and then started shaking.  In that moment, I felt this overwhelming peace and I prayed, "Lord, if you decided to take my dad and Kerry today, I would still trust you.  I would know that you're in control, that it was part of your plan and that I would be okay."  (Believe me, this was all Jesus)  At that point, Jarred said to me, "Your dad's okay.  He's the one that texted about it. Just go be with Joy."

I threw my shoes on and ran to Joy & Kerry's apartment.  I got there and she was holding her cell phone, waiting for them to call and was trying not to panic with 5 kids needing her attention and affection. We knelt down right there and started praying.  Soon after, Kerry called and said he was fine, but to pray for Jeff.  Jeff is a pastor that was there visiting from Louisiana.  He's 36 and has a wife and kids at home.  He had a significant amount of damage to his face and will need surgery, potentially a few surgeries.  They got him to Miami quickly and he is doing okay, but it will be a long road.  If you think of it, please pray for him and his family.

But I am continuing to learn from this is that I have expectations of what I think my life is supposed to look like.  When MY expectations aren't met, I am disappointed in God because things aren't going my way.  Well shouldn't they be going his way, not mine?  What that requires is an all out surrender of my agenda and expectations so that God might have the space in my life to write a better story.  That day, I learned what it meant to surrender.  I learned what it meant to have absolutely zero control of a situation and still trust God with the outcome.  God is teaching me to surrender it all and to release my expectations in exchange for the amazing plan he is beginning to unfold.  A painful process? Yes.  But I could not be more grateful for the early morning wake up call in Haiti.

"This life I live... it finds meaning in surrender.  So take my life, let it be, everything all of me.  Here I am, use me for Your glory.  In everything I say and do, let me my life honor You.  Here I am, living for Your glory." - Tim Hughes 

GREAT thoughts on short-term missions

So I have these friends... okay their friends of friends, but I wish we knew each other for reals.  Next time I go to Haiti, I'd like to try to meet them.  All that said, they are missionaries in Port-Au-Prince.  They are doing phenomenal ministry there (very similar in structure, style and family life to our AMAZING partners doing we just worked with in Montrouis).  The Livesay's recently posted this blog about short-term missions.  You should go HERE and check it out.  It's legit and needs to be read by anyone planning on going.

The end.

Mèsi Senyè...

Mèsi Senyè...

This means, "Thank You, Lord" in Creole.  Those are the only words I can use to describe how I feel about my trip to Haiti (and they're much more beautiful in Creole than in English:)  
Here's how I saw Jesus this week:

- I saw medical professionals (an MD, a PA, a nurse, a nursing student and a pre-med student) give up a week of their lives to sit in a sweltering hot, sticky school house and see patients who could never afford to see a doctor.  They treated, sutured, prescribed, scheduled surgeries for and prayed over people who otherwise may never have gotten treatment (and a few who just wanted free vitamins:).  One of them was so compelled by it that he's taking a step of faith and going back for the month of April to continue to treat & love on the people of Haiti.  Because of them, Dr Kerry was able to show these communities that he loves them enough to open free medical clinics in their villages and in turn, he's earned the right to share why he organized that - because God first loved him, he loves them. 

- I saw a high school senior giving up her spring break to see what it would be like to serve God in another country.  Her heart is pure gold and she's so eager to use her life for kingdom work.  She loved on orphans and helped in a medical clinic.  She has spring break stories that are life-changing & I'm so proud of her.  

- I saw seven moms/grandmas leave their families for a week to go and love on someone else's kids because scripture asks us to care for the orphan.  Their love for those kids & organizational skills provided things for Kerry & Joy's family that could not have been provided without these moms.  Their hearts were transformed by rescuing a little girl from a dire situation and bringing her to the orphanage.  Their hearts were broken for a little boy with special needs who desperately needs surgery or he will die.  Their loving arms were used to cuddle kids who rarely get one on one attention and affection.  Their songs were sung to bring life to kids who were forced to grow up too quickly because they had no stable home.  Without them, our team wouldn't have been complete. 

- I saw a young married couple pour their lives into men in the fishing village and orphaned young women.  Their hearts are to get the men in the fishing program sponsored so that they can be more productive in their fishing and grow their very small businesses, feed their families and put their children in school.  They are making a difference in Haiti.

- I saw my sister-in-law jumping in wherever she could to help - painting, washing clothes, holding a baby, assembling a bed, running a pharmacy, babysitting Joy & Kerry's kids, learning a little Creole, laughing and playing with the kids in the orphanage - just allowing God to use her wherever he chose to that day.  She brought so much joy to our team and to the people there and is more inspired to go back and start Young Life in her hometown with high school students.  

- I saw my dad using his gifts as a businessman to help Dr Kerry think more strategically about all the irons he has in the fire.  He spent a week problem solving and figuring out ways he could help.  He served by encouraging Dr Kerry in the work he was doing and propelling him to be able to do more - "putting gas on the fire" as we like to say.  Not only did I see my dad using what he's best at, but I also saw him loving on orphans who've never had a dad.  

- My next blog post will say more about their ministry & their lives, but I saw Dr Kerry running more ministries than one person should ever run...  1) Abraham Association (choir), 2) Fishing Program (12 guys he's teaching to make a business out of their trade while discipling them), 3) Medical Clinics, 4) The Mission (orphanage where they house & feed 17 kids each day), 5) the potential opening of a Boys Home for the older boys, 6) running the Refugee Camp where he helps feed 65 people displaced from the earthquake and is trying to find them homes/jobs before July, 7) Outreach Church in the street on Sunday nights for people in the fishing village, 8) Hosting our team which includes coordinating housing, meals, transportation, translators, Sunday church and everything in between, 9) potentially starting a "feeding program" to get the kids in local schools fed so they can at least eat one meal per day, 10) running a sponsorship program where $150/year allows a kid to get off the street and be put in school and fed one meal per day, 11) being an incredible husband and father to his wife and 8 kids (6 of whom live in Haiti) and finally, 12) he and Joy serving as weary, yet most faithful servants of our Lord, day in and day out because they realize that loving Jesus and loving people is all that matters. What an example!

- I saw myself changed forever and I don't say that lightly.  You see, when you run mission trips for a living, you've been alot of places & seen alot of things.  But I've never, ever been captured by a place like I have been by Montrouis, Haiti (pronounced "Mowee).  I've never seen such tangible need we have the potential to meet.  I've never met missionaries like Kerry & Joy and their kids who have chosen to relinquish the American Dream and the life they had planned for themselves in order to have the life that God had planned for them.  I've never seen daily surrender modeled so faithfully. I "drank the koolaid" as they say.  I'm all in.  I'm ready to give whatever it takes to keep this ministry going and to get them the help they need.  They are running more than 8 flourishing ministries on their own and they need workers, helpers, partners.  I see God calling me into something much bigger with my dear friends in Haiti. I know God is stirring my heart to do something big and I am seeking Him with all I am to figure out how he might use me to help with ministering to the people in Montrouis, Haiti.  I would love your prayers as I seek his will.  Stay tuned...

Mèsi Senyè... for how you are changing my life. 

(This is Joy and Kerry's 9 year old - Jacy and the little girl I wish I could take home - Nakisha)

Life-Change

Here is an excerpt from a post Dr Kerry wrote early this year... in it, he talks about some of the kids in the orphanage.  

Niaca and Kimberly- sisters we found in a tent village and now live in the mission

Jean Moi- orphan living on the beach 

Jean Patrick- orphan who's parents were murdered 

Justice- our baby we are adopting that was abandoned at 3 weeks

Kobe- handicapped teenage orphan that was a street kid

Adelson- street kid orphan

Wilna- nearly blind orphan that had never been to school and now is top of her class

Kevin- Cerebral palsey 3 year old orphan that was going to be thrown into the sea

Michelet- handicapped 3 year old orphan with megalocephally that is finally being taught to sit up and speak

Jefnica and Gatina- sisters found in the fishing village 

You see the circumstances were only used to teach us that the only things that really matter are people.  Our highlights from 2010 are the people that we got to invest our lives into.  In return, they have enriched our lives in ways we never would have dreamed.  God has shown us that people are our inheritance in the promised land and we are grateful for such revelation. 

I remember reading this when it was written and thinking "how neat."  This has a COMPLETELY different meaning for me now.  I know these kids.  I've heard their stories, I've talked to them, I've put bandaids on their owies, I've snuggled them to sleep.  

They are more than just names. I now know that Jean Patrick has an incredible heart for worship and loves to sing, even though he's embarrassed sometimes :)  I know that Kobe wants to be a pastor and is a faithful friend.

I know that Michelet can capture your heart with just one glance and we need to find a way to get him surgery.

I know that Jefnica & Gatina sometimes get to go visit their mom in the fishing village, but that the orphanage is the best place for them right now. 

I know that Naica & Kimberly have an American family trying to adopt them and they will finally have a "home." 

I know that there's no little girl that can steal your heart as quickly as Justice & I can't imagine someone wanting to abandon her.  

But had a I not made the choice to get out of my comfort zone and show up in Haiti, they would still be empty names on a blog that I read when I have time. Instead they've changed my life and they've taught me that giving of yourself to invest in other people is the only thing that really matters in this life.  My heart is invested in this ministry and I'm committed to doing all I can to help Kerry & Joy save lives & make disciples.  I'm learning to make on-purpose life choices that will allow God to use me more and more.  Lord, continue to send me, use me & change me.  

Perspective Shift

I'm reading a daily devotional from a book called "Venite" - a book of daily prayers.  This is the nightly prayer... but with a different perspective than we ever have in the states.  

“Keep watch, dear Lord with all who work or watch or weep this night, and give Your angels charge over those who sleep.  Tend the sick, we pray, and give rest to the weary; soothe the suffering and bless the dying; pity the afflicted and shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake.”

This carries different meaning as we go to bed in Haiti tonight.  There is a different sense of tending the sick and giving rest to the weary; of soothing the suffering and blessing the dying; of pitying the afflicted and shielding the joyous. We’ve seen all of those things in a day’s ministry here in Haiti.  Every single one and those prayers bring names and faces and voices to life when I pray before I go to sleep tonight. 

Those prayers carry a different weight than they do in my daily life – and for that reality, I’m grateful. 

So Lord, would you do those things for the people of Montrouis.  And would you shield the joy and give rest to our weary friends Kerry & Joy and their kids.

Would you be the God of this place and change the lives of these people tonight. 

A stirring

God is stirring something in my heart for Haiti.  I am absolutely loving it.  Like nothing I’ve ever loved.  I’m not sure what it is.  I think part of it is Kerry & Joy Reeves and part of it is the people here.  The other pieces of it are the devastation you see & the people you interact with.  They all have a story – most of them a tragic story.  They all are totally dependent on something – most of them voodoo or witchcraft to get them through.  With 10% Christianity and many of those being “nominal” Christians, there’s a huge tendency to just give up hope on these people's lives ever changing.  

But not the Reeves'.  They inspire me.  I'm overwhelmed by their hearts for these people and to truly help them - by help I mean empowering them to help themselves.  It's such an amazing ministry and a gift to be working alongside them.  

Wesner eating the fishhead :)

Gran, the widow that the Reeves' take care of.  She's a strong believer & huge influence on her community & her kids.

Gorgeous. 

Women in the refugee camp.  

Gattina, my homegirl & one of the orphans.   Love her :)

Sunset in Haiti.

Haiti, here we come...

Psalm 82:3&4 "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."

As I re-read this verse today, I was reminded of how important it is that we continue to go - to go to places like Haiti and defend these devastated people.  They are poor, oppressed, weak and needy and it truly is our calling to be their defense and to encourage our partners who are doing ministry in the depths of human need.  I sit here tonight, beginning to pack my bags, ridiculously humbled at the opportunity I have to go and serve in a place like Haiti.  I think about our Operation HOPE team - one of the physicians is my dear friend, a ministry partner from IMPACT here in CA has joined us late in the game, my parents are going, my sister-in-law, my aunt, the mothers of both of my sisters-in-law - and I am utterly blown away by the gift it is to be going on this trip.  

I've felt called to this place and wanted to go there for years... since before the quake when one of my friends was in a heart-wrenching adoption process to get their son.  Their story is incredible.  Through her, I've been linked with the Livesay's who live a life and run a ministry in Port-Au-Prince that will blow you away.  All this to say, in some weird way, it's one of my dreams to go to Haiti - to meet the amazing people who live there, to learn about their culture and to serve them in whatever way God has planned for me.  I am humbled.  Truly.  And cannot wait to tell the stories of my Haitian brothers and sisters and to watch our great God do what he does best - change lives and bring hope.